In Other News

Update: My Monthly Menstruation

Last month I wrote about the horrible pains I had experienced during my period.

Last month I wrote about the horrible pains I had experienced during my period. And how I believed that the foods I was consuming, were causing the unbearable and consistent pains.

Well this month, my period arrived on the 29th of June.

Day 1: Mild period pains light flow, infrequent cramps.
Day 2: Mild period pains light flow. Cravings for rice, fried rice. (Never gave in, I ate porridge and crumpets.)
Day 3: Medium level period pain, I was craving fried rice with chicken. Ate boiled potatoes!
Day 4: Medium level period of pain, cramps were more frequent than day 3. I meditated a couple of times and done a few full-bodied stretches. And had vegan sausages!
Day 5: Medium level period pain, STRONG cravings for fried-rice. Had a hot bubble-bath, and ate fried plantain.
Day 6: Mild pain, barely noticeable at times. Snacked on vegan sausage rolls.
Day 7: Period? What period.

Each time I craved food that wasn’t healthy, I forced myself to eat something healthier or drink a large glass of water infused with a few drops of lemon juice.
Lemon water and fruits have been fantastic – I doubt anything will ever eliminate period pains. But removing meat from my diet, it has worked a treat.

I’m no expert and will never claim to be one. However, I do feel that meat has a detrimental impact on my body during menstruation. Therefore, going forward, I won’t be eating any meat during my period.
It felt so amazing that I didn’t have to go through those horrible pains. It felt great to drink lemon water and have clearer skin during that time of the month. Usually, my face is covered in spots, but this time, I had like two tiny ones.
I felt empowered that I didn’t give in to my cravings and that I was focused enough to meditate and to take a few minutes out to stretch.
Don’t get me wrong, there were moments I couldn’t sleep, and I was overheated but I persevered and YOU can too.

Gym Membership: Subscribe to a New Body

Years ago, I joined Virgin Active, after being mocked and teased about my body. I signed up to a membership that was priced around £45 pcm. I figured that if I attend at least three times a week £45/ 4 / 3 =£3.75 per session! And I compared that to a box of fried chicken and chips, which came at the cost of £3.60

I joined this fantastic gym, with fit members of staff and state of the art facilities, including but not limited to – a swimming pool! Classes were included in the membership, and every time you attend, you see staff they smile at you.

Disclaimer, your £45 pcm membership subscription to a state of the art gym, x by (let us guess) many, many members, equals a lot of profit.

Needless to say, I went initially for like a week or two, and that dwindled to once every other week. Eventually, I never attended at all…I wanted to leave, but I was tied into a 12-month contract.

Fast forward a few years, I joined Pure Gym and paid £15.99 pcm /4 /3 = £1.33 per session. I repeated the above, and although I had no contractual ties, I let my direct debit roll over and over, as I figured it’s less money and I kept on telling myself that eventually, I will visit the gym more. I never did…

Fast-forward: It has taken me many, many years to realise and accept that you have to honestly want to workout, for you to get that new body you desire. No amount of money you pay towards a gym membership is going to help you. Not even the state of the art facilities will support you – Not unless you are self-motivated and are ready to PUT IN THE WORK.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not for one second, implying that gym memberships are a terrible thing. They introduce you to new people, and you learn new things to enhance your own lifestyle. However, if you aren’t motivated to attend, you’ll waste your money just as I once did. And as many people still do, to this day. TO THIS DAY.

My opinion: Eat more fruits and vegetables, cut down on meat and start off with something you’ll enjoy, like Zumba or running. And if/when you sign up to a gym, I implore you to get your worth in money and commit to attending. #UniqueFatso

Couch to 5KM App

Recently I was browsing through the NHS website, reading up on advice for coughs. And found an article on getting fitter…this piece led to information on the Couch to 5 KM running app. It states that it helps you get running within nine weeks. I browsed through some of the many reviews, predominantly via Instagram and I was convinced to at least, ‘give it a try.’

Which is why I downloaded to my smartphone three weeks ago.

Week 1 Day 1
I got dressed up in my running attire, attached my reflectors to my arms and legs. (As it was 4:00 am) And then I stood on the inside of my home, for around 20 minutes. I was afraid.
I was worried about people seeing me, laughing at me and mocking a ‘fat girl running.’
I stood there and imagined many people, snarling at me from behind their window panes. I didn’t exit that day.

Week 1 Day 1 – Round 2
I repeated my actions from the previous try, got to my front door and forced myself to go.
Clicked start on the app and hesitantly walked up to a hill for the 5-minute duration of the warm-up. I looked around and didn’t see anyone around, better yet those that drove by didn’t seem to be paying any attention to me. *I accepted that watching the road, was a more decisive action

During the parts of the workout, that I had to ‘run’ it was the hardest 30-60 seconds of running, that I’ve ever had to do. I was thinking about quitting with every step I took. I was extremely grateful when instructed to walk for 2 minutes.
3800 steps later, I’ve completed my first session!

I arrive back home, and I’m sweating, I’m hot, and I’m happy.

Fast-forward
Tomorrow I begin Week 3 Day 1, of the Couch to 5 KM running app.

A few noticeable changes:

  • Each time I run, I feel less hungry – Although, I must emphasise it is important to eat.
  • When I’m out and about, feeling a bit peckish and happen to be walking past junk food outlets. I keep walking and don’t even feel tempted, as it would mean I’d be ruining the progress I’ve made so far.
  • I’ve lost 5lbs!
  • I’m able to meet my goal of 10,000 steps before mid-day *On those days.
  • I’m happier.

I believe that if I continue on this pathway, I will be a fluent runner! And I should hopefully be running by the time the 1/2 marathon arrives this October.

When in doubt, try it out!

Unique Fatso

The Story of Unique Fatso

Unique Fatso

*Disclaimer, this was written a while ago.

Foundation
I can’t remember how old I was exactly. But I know I was young.
A small booklet arrived with the daily post and was placed in the fruit-bowl by one of my family members. During breakfast, I picked it up and was looking through it, my stepfather entered and pulled on the corner of it. After turning a few pages, he said, ‘you see if I were a girl, I would aspire to be a size 10.’ He then pushed it back toward me and walked away laughing.
I closed the brochure and left the kitchen, heading upstairs to cry. I was never a fat child, I was a part of the sprint team, netball, and running and even swimming. But that moment was to change my life forever.
I remember sitting in my cupboard and placing the earphones in my ears, skipping to track 10 of Rainbow by Mariah Carey and playing it over and over again. ‘…still, I cry, I cry, I cry…’ And that’s all I did, was cry. Not for the true meaning of the song but because my stepfather had just killed any confidence I had.

From then onwards, more and more comments came along and more, and more people joined in:
‘Sorry, I can’t stop staring at your ass, it’s so big.’ – Cousin
‘Look how big your thighs are, ha-ha they’re huge.’ – Aunt (Mother of a cousin)
‘Don’t you think you should join a gym, you look like Fatso from Casper.’ – Grandmother
‘You should stick to salad.’ – Grandmother.
‘Can’t you see how fat you’re getting, you look disgusting.’ – Grandmother

I began to eat more food. I stopped running, swimming, and I tried my best to avoid family gatherings. One of which was my Grandmothers birthday. It was held at a Chinese buffet restaurant. I was so ashamed of my body image that I wore; very long and extra wide black trousers, oversized black t-shirt and a long black cardigan. (Surely, weight gain was gradual but visible.) My Grandmother arrived in a short white dress that had a fluffy rabbits tale on the rear and the Playboy bunny logo on the side. To complement her dress, she wore glass slippers, that had feathers on the toe and white feathered bow around her neck. As she walked past everyone, she paused and said to me, ‘what? Are you jealous?’ I turned my head and continued to eat my broccoli and Chinese chicken curry.

Scenarios similar to that one continued, and for many years, I was forced to endure this. I often wished I could find a large amount of money and have surgery. I longed for one of these people to compliment me. I stopped going out with friends, I stopped making new friends. I found refuge in the thriller section of the school library. With a few bottles of fizzy pop (soda,) bags of sweets, packets of chocolates and often a muffin or two.
Key members of my family made me feel irrelevant. I often dreamt of a life without me being here. I often dreamt of having a stepfather that supported me like his own, a grandmother that loved me for an extended family that didn’t have an invested interest in my waistline and me.
Infrequently, I would vividly dream about my own death. How they would celebrate at my funeral with ample amounts of food and drink. Irony.

Cement
Because of the negative connotations surrounding my body, I had no confidence. Whenever people visited the house, I raced upstairs to my bedroom. During the summer, I avoided going outside…unless I had to.
Because of this mental abuse (which is precisely what it was), I grew up believing that I would never love or be loved. I grew up with a belief embedded in my mind that I was indeed ugly and unlovable.

Point
As a child growing up surrounded by key members in your life, many are telling you that you’re fat and ugly. It is tough to differentiate what is the reality and what is their deluded viewpoint. As a teenager, I struggled immensely when boys showed even the slightest bit of interest, I walked away. I became a recluse, spent endless hours upon hours just daydreaming about a new life, a new body, a new look, a whole new family – well, stepfather, cousins, aunties, uncles, and Grandmother. Not much, I guess.

Today, I no longer speak to those members of my family. The last time I saw my Grandmother was last year on her birthday. She called out to me, I looked at her and continued on my way. I can’t bring myself talk to her anymore, and now that I’m older, I simply don’t have to.
Everyone should realise that abuse isn’t just of a physical nature. Mental abuse cuts just as deep, and the blows can leave an individual unconscious for a lifetime.
Fortunately, I woke up.

Unique Fatso

Period Pains

During my most recent period, the pain that accompanied it was unbearable for around 48 hours.

I experience pain during menstruation every month – however, this month it felt like someone had a set of diamond pincers. Pinching into my lower-abdomen every few minutes. I popped loads of pain-killers: paracetamol and ibuprofen. I used a hot-water bottle, and I gave in to all my cravings.

Which upon reflection, feeding my cravings could have heightened the pain? Or that could be me over-speculating. I cried myself to sleep a few times as I’ve never experienced pains on that scale before.

What do you do to combat period pains?

Do you feel it gets worse/better with age?

Any tips and tricks to help sooth the pain?

UniqueFatso

Monthly Madness: Munchies During Menstruation.

Each month, on time my period arrives and with it’s delivery comes cravings. They’re expected in the sense that I’ll have them but exactly what I’ll crave is always a surprise.

This month has been difficult, as I’ve had a mixture of cravings and they’ve gone from one extreme to the next.

  • Jerk Chicken
  • Cucumbers
  • Apple Juice
  • Granola
  • Chocolate brownies and custard

And when I first had a portion of jerk-chicken I felt like it had been all I had needed. I then went back for another piece and a further. I wasn’t even hungry after the first piece but I felt the urge to feed my cravings and for a moment in time it made me happy.

My desire to consume cucumber with everything felt fine at first. But while devouring a jar of granola (with yogurt.) I began to reflect upon my monthly cravings and what feeding into them means for my healthy eating habits…Simply put: I spend 3 weeks eating well and getting in with some training. Then my period arrives, and all my efforts are flooded by my period.

I wondered why they’re so strong and thought about what I could do going forward to suppress and eradicate them.

For my next period, I’m going to try and meditate through cravings when I’m able to. Through growing up and learning various things from different women, I’ve just accepted that whenever you crave something to ‘treat yourself.’
But at what cost? Additional weight, unnecessary calories and the depletion of my health – Through consuming excessive foods that I don’t need!

It’s simply not worth it.

Bring on the battle of cravings in a few weeks. I’ll be sure to share the outcome with you.

UniqueFatso

Family, Friends & Foxes

Family

I’ve had cousins, aunts, uncles and even grandparents – Disrespect me by mocking my looks and my weight. I’ve grown up being told that I should look a certain way. Skinny, Skinner and oh yeah! skinny!

Friends

The cools kids liked me for being strong and able to fight those who tried me.

But they always commented on my weight. All the time, everyday! It was always there. Commentary in motion. It’s almost as if my life is a form of Big Brother.

Foxes

Smiling assassins, they smile at me daily, offer me cups of tea. Tell me I look amazing and then snarl when I bite into a biscuit that good ol’ Ms Jackson baked last night.

About Sprouts

For reasons unbeknown factually to me, Brussels-sprouts are widely seen as a staple of Christmas dinner.

However, during a visit to Marks & Spencer last week, I came across loose sprouts. They were huge, green and seductive with inviting me in to buy them. I filled a bag, completed the rest of my basket-filling escapade;

  • Carrots
  • Chicken breasts
  • Onions
  • Tomatoes
  • Lettuce
  • Cucumber
  • Moroccan Styled Hummus
  • Pitta Bread
  • Beetroot wraps
  • Grated Cheese

Went home and tasted the hummus for the first time, they were beautiful… The next day, I examined my fridge and wondered what could I have these sprouts with? My head, kept thinking buy a whole chicken and make a Sunday roast. But my heart said just add them to anything you have for dinner.

So I did.

  • Pan fried chicken breasts, with sesame seeds and SPROUTS
  • Curry chicken, beetroot wraps and SPROUTS.
  • Pitta Bread Pizzas, with SPROUTS.

My suggestion is, when in doubt try something new out. Don’t avoid a vegetable, just because its known as a Christmas ‘thing.’ Buy them and enjoy!

#UniqueFatso

Mind.

Yoga FLAME/SHAME(?) nah.

Yesterday, I attended my first yoga-class. (First in about 10 years.) the teacher said we were not allowed to drink any water during. I wasn’t happy about that and considered walking out. But I stayed and breathed on.

Before starting, I asked the yoga teacher if it is aimed at ‘beginners?’ He said, ‘anyone can attend.’

Anyway, at one point the downward dog pose, was proving to be quite difficult for me to do and hold. My hands were tired from effectively holding up my own weight. I tried everything and to my surprise, just before the end. I had managed to roll back up onto my shoulders and hold myself up. I do recall being able to do this years ago. Only now it was very different. I could feel my body weight bearing down on my hands. My fingers pressed deep into the fat around my lower back. Actually felt very soft, fat but ridiculously soft. After around 5 seconds, I became conscious of the fact, that the teacher and fellow learners are probably looking over in disgust! So I rolled myself down, back into the initial seating position.

My eyes dart up to the mirror ahead and check out everyone around me. Not one eye caught mine, because they were all still trying to master the pose.

For the first time ever, I felt a sense of achievement and happiness consumed me. I was proud that I was able to master the pose and enjoy it for a mere 5 seconds, and that my paranoia was wrong. People don’t care that you’re a fatso doing yoga – they appreciate you making an effort and taking a step into becoming a healthier person!

When in doubt, try a class out!

Try

Do you ever wish you had tried something earlier?

Often I fear change and avoid it where possible.

However, I recently came across red/lentil penne pasta, during a recent visit to @MarksAndSpencer yesterday, I made some and it was delicious. During my meal, I thought about all those opportunities I’ve passed up: events I’ve missed, foods I’ve said no to and experiences I’ve hidden away from. Due to my weight and how I look and feel.

Who said the next second in my life is promised?

Tea Time with Pukka

Late last night, I made a mug of Pukka Tea, #PukkaCleanse to be exact.

After consuming a large portion of battered chips 😔I felt a combination of sadness, disappointment and the need to fix it.

The taste (for me) was awful. But I downed it, I finished to whole cup. It’s goodness that will no doubt, have me glowing from within.

I can’t expect to do everything I enjoy and accomplish new results. Therefore, if it means gulping down a cup of horrid tea – I’ll do it! And I’ll keep doing it.

Different action, better results!

I’m not telling you to do things you hate. I’m saying, that just because I love eating chips – doesn’t mean I’m going to get fitter and healthier by eating them. The tea was vile for me. But I know that it’s better that a bag of chips any day and everyday!

Kale Juice & Floradix

I’m a big advocate of kale juice. I suffer with iron deficient anaemia. My GP has advised me to take iron tablets.

My nails were brittle and kept breaking. And I also experienced hair loss.

The issue with those, is that they give me side affects such as; headaches, loss of taste, chest pains. So earlier on in the year of 2018, I decided to ditch the man made synthetic iron. And sought plant based alternatives.

I found Floradix! Which has been an absolute delight. As after a few days of taking this iron supplement, you begin to feel and notice the difference.

Alongside this, I consume the odd glass of a kale smoothie. You can purchase smoothie packs from Marks & Spencer all you need to do is add 150ml of apple juice not from

Concentrate. Not the brown apple juice, but pressed apple juice. I usually purchase it from Tesco x2 bottles for £2 the juice is green in colour.

Kale smoothies make me feel amazing on the inside and improves my external appearance. My skin glows, nails are shiny and stronger than usual. And my hair is slowly but surely benefitting from the changes I’ve made.

My advice: if your health is suffering in any way, shape or form. Don’t keep repeating the cycle. Go out there and find a plant based alternative and make a change. Many individuals have shared their experiences with the changes they’ve made and I’ve yet to find a negative one.

Educate yourself and explore what else the world has to offer.

A few years ago, I hadn’t even heard about kale or Floradix. Now they’re a part of my life and providing me with a much more positive life experience.

Oat Milk

So I asked myself recently, what do I need milk for? And the only answer is porridge!

I absolutely LOVE porridge.

So last week I made a healthy choice and purchased a healthier option, #OatMilk which is a plant based milk alternative.

I haven’t yet tried it. However, it’s the only milk now available to me at home. It got me thinking though, drinks such as hot chocolate and milkshakes. I can only enjoy at home, due to the majority of food outlets opting to churn out cows milk. Let’s not forget that cows milk is for baby cows.

Is that what we are when we frequent such places? I refuse to moo for milk.

#FindYourPlantBase

Got Milk?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always suffered from acne. More so during menstruation but generally throughout non-menstrual days. Big bumpy, unsightly spots!

My daily breakfast (previously) consisted of a 40g bowl of porridge with a cup of milk!

Throughout the day, I enjoyed drinking hot-chocolate, with a mountain of whipped cream…Mmm

Acne was covering my face and the odd times my neck and upper back. I kept on (wrongfully) popping them. Buying a variety of cleansers and face washes to help me make them vanish. Nothing helped ☹

I changed from standard semi-skimmed to Cravendale semi-skimmed, I had this warped idea that it’s better for me?

I read an article this year, about how the consumption of cow’s milk, is morally wrong. It went on to explain why Cow’s milk is for baby cows. Then it touched on the effects it has on people who consume it. One of which was acne!

So for around 2-3 weeks, I eliminated milk (not dairy) just milk! And indeed, I saw a positive improvement. My skin was clearer and most time spotless!

I must admit, to this very day:

  • I no longer have cereal
  • I no longer purchase cow’s milk! (I went from buying four pints a week, down to zero)

 

I struggle with other dairy products such as cheese! But I have switched my butter to olive oil spread. I have purchased Soya milk but the taste isn’t as nice? However, I’m continuing to make changes in my diet to better my health.

The Green Smoothie

The Green Smoothie

On and off, here and there I’ve been buying the following in packs:

  • Oranges
  • Lemons
  • Limes
  • Cherries
  • Raspberries
  • Carrots

 

With great aspirations to make my own juices/smoothies, in order to facilitate my diet. However, I would purchase these and more, then find myself either tired of the prep work or with produce going off after a few days.

Which led to me feeling a sense of disappointment with not only my plan, to become healthier. But my entire being! (Which upon reflection is quite sad I know)

I couldn’t help but feel that I failed at the last stage.

 

Whilst buying my fruits, I came across the Marks & Spencer pre-packed smoothie packs. (For the record, I was aware smoothie packs had existed before, only I felt they were a waste of money and I could save more by prepping myself etc.) Feeling down and out, I purchased 2 packs of 4 for £4 – Please note: I would usually spend about £3.60 on a box of chicken and chips. So my thought process was I get 8 smoothies for the price of one box of chicken and chips.

 

As you can see in the video the portions are great! They’ve changed my diet dramatically, I’m getting loads of nutrients and my body, mind, and soul feel fabulous.

I recommend you try this, it’s helping me to plan my meals properly and curbing my wild cravings.

#UniqueFatso

Crumbs & Seeds

Are you a crumb or a seed?
Crumbs roll around on different levels, traveling in packs, leaving their trail everywhere they go. Everyone knows their business and exactly what they’ve done, what they’re going to do and what they’re doing right now. We are inundated with their lives; Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Twitter and sometimes even YouTube. Crumbs are messy and aspire to(?)
Seeds find a suitable spot, reflect upon their goals, plant themselves with the aspiration to grow!
#UniqueFatso

 

Mind The Gap

Society is obsessed with how many inches of space between your thighs. Who cares really? I have curves and I’m happy.

It’s mean that people are made to feel, like they MUST conform to societies depiction of what you should look like. Every inch of your body, from the length of your eyelashes to the #ThighGap era.

Be proud of your differences and be proud of your body! I’m walking/jogging more these days…shapes change all the time.

We aren’t meant to look the same. We aren’t meant to squeeze ourselves into ‘cookie-cutter’ definition of beauty and societies desires for their ways of living.

If your thighs rub together, massage some olive oil into them before you dress. If you’re ready to lose weight, get out there and walk.

Society will consume you if you allow them to. And if you allow that, then what purpose do you have?

We have enough sheep already!

Do right! Do you!

Just add vegetables

I had a lazy day yesterday and after listening to Game of Thrones, via audible. I woke up at 21:37, hungry.

Ventured into the kitchen and made dinner: udon noodles, peppers, sweet corn, broccoli, peas and onion.

Took less than 10minutes to prepare – quicker than a takeaway delivery. Healthier than crisps and chocolate and more satisfying than a slice of cake.

Don’t forget to think about ‘needs’ rather than only acknowledging the ‘wants.’

Your body wants food, your body needs nutrition.

The Hold Up – Sports Bras

It has taken me months to locate a ‘high support,’ sportsbra. I’ve tried on so many from Adidas and Nike (hard to purchase my size)

I must say the Adidas sports bras look amazing on the mannequins. They’re impossible to get on, some appear to have been designed by a man…no offence.

Finally, I tried Puma! **Quite trivia but I’m very loyal to the brand, that’s why it’s taken me so long – I hoped that I would find one by them. In addition to that failing, I checked other brands and high-supportive bras, as hard to find in stores. Didn’t want to order from the internet as the price point is £35-£60+ and I hate shopping as it is.

Anyway, I visited a discounted sports store and ‘once again, searched through the bras that they have on offer…’ I found a bra by Puma that was £45 discounted to £36.99  – I was going to try it on, but their changing rooms aren’t exactly private. (They’re located right by the tills and the door just covered from my knees to below my shoulders…so I decided to just buy it. **This store does not allow refunds** I know, bad customer service.

I’m happy to say that once I arrived home and tried it on, I was overjoyed. It’s not Adidas! But it fits ‘perfectly,’ I feel supported.

Do you equally find it tricky to get the right training clothing?

Are you loyal to a brand?

How’s the fit?

Unique Fatso

Fat is Fat, let’s be factual.

I purchased a box of frozen Angus beef burgers, recently. I fried them one day and grilled the rest! The grilled version left behind all that from 1 burger.

Here I saw my veins, my air-intake, my heartbeat, my life. All greased up and fattened up for my crave, for processed greasy foods.

It will take about 2 hours on a treadmill trying to burn this off. Let’s not coat it with butter – fat is fat. Let’s stay factual!

Stretchmarks 😒 Love

Over the years I’ve noticed stretchmarks appearing all over my body. And last year, they started on my stomach. 

Before I used to fear getting intimate with a partner, through fear that they’ll find my stretchmarks unattractive. Caused me to end relationships, even before they got going. Through fear, I hid my body behind layers of black clothing and hoped that I’m not noticed as I continued with my daily way of living, (work, etc.) I tried many things to make them ‘vanish!’ Such as oils, creams and bathing products that promised ‘to relieve or completely remove, the appearance of stretchmarks.’ They did nothing. 

Having them on my ass and backs of my legs didn’t bother me as much at first, as I couldn’t see them, unless I looked at them. but this one on my stomach, really upset me as I saw it each day and night. I cried, I wished, I begged, I even prayed – for them to go away. 

Wasn’t until I had gotten back in contact with History, that I learnt to love myself more. I’m not saying find yourself someone to love you first before loving yourself. I’m saying, I was viewing things through my blurred vision, bought on by tears. And forgot to appreciate that I have a heartbeat, I’m alive. So many before/after me, aren’t around today. I should value my life more and through diet and exercise I’ll learn to love myself more and value my selfworth.

#HoldYaHead

Breakfast Time and obvious signs. ‘Hurry, hurry!’ 

I remember many years ago, breakfast had to be; scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, beans, 4 slices of toast and a big sploge of ketchup. 

One day I was happily devouring this ‘frequent’ meal down, when I experienced chest pains…sharp pains that forced me to stop eating and sit still for a moment in time. I subconsciously (and to avoid causing myself a state of alarm,) placed this down to eating too fast! 

I ignored my body, it was crying out for me to stop…but I couldn’t. This food made me feel happy – you know, intervals of happiness, almost like a natural high. My body and state of mind became medicated by the want to eat more. I felt lethargic and horrible after eating so much…then looking in the mirror afterward, I just used to convince myself that this is my life and I could never be slimmer.

You need to remember to listen to your body, it communicates with you daily!

I couldn’t bare eating in the kitchen, the added stares and commentary, after I’ve just prepared all this joy on a plate. I began taking my fried sensations, up to my bedroom with a large cup of sugary tea. And a side serving of a packet of biscuits. 

Many years ago, that was my life. That was breakfast time.
Today I do eat breakfast (almost every morning,) however gone are the fried varieties of food, gone is that ‘hurry hurry’ attitude to eat. I now take time preparing a healthy bowl of porridge  🤤

Half Marathon

I’ve signed up to the Birmingham half marathon 😅

Believe this or not, I completed this last year. However, before and after the event I chowed down on junk food and had intervals of ‘healthy eating,’ completing 21 days of Veganuary. However, as per usual, just like the last 10+ years of living unhealthy, I reverted back to my comforting but detrimental ways of life.

The hidden bag of chicken & chips, extra portions of dinner, lunch and the cheese toasties for breakfast. And the repetitive notion, ‘I’ll start dieting tomorrow,’ playing in my mind. Ending with a positive smile, that tomorrow I’ll start afresh and mould my body into something spectacular.

My aim is to jog/run the whole race. 

I’ve opted for the improver trainer plan because the one below is for those walking…

Officially starting the plan Monday; but doing a healthy food shop today to get me started.

#Forward

Periods & Cravings

Another weakness of mine, is during my period; I crave alsorts! Last month it was potatoes, today its sponge cake and custard.

Terrible I know – ‘I’m greedy!’

I’ve just eaten half sponge cake (with custard) and I know it’s not helpful to my health.

Do you ever struggle with cravings? Are you weak? I sometimes feel (and this sounds bizarre) I feel that through food, I find understanding. For a short period in time and then I think about how much ‘time’ have I put myself back by? 

How long will it take me to burn the half sponge cake (and custard) away? When will I eat healthy, consistently and remain confident in my choices? Why do I give in so easily and lead a life of greed and gluttony for the sake of ‘periods & cravings.’

I can and I will, succeed this weakness!

I can and I will, become a healthier version of myself!

I can and I will, exceed expectations.  

Takeaway. Take it all away from me…

Today I’m experiencing one of those days, where I feel everything is going wrong.

Started off with good intentions:

  1. Wake up early.
  2. Go jogging
  3. Eat Greek yogurt.
  4. Read Gun Machine .
  5. Pack glassware.
  6. Buy cleaning items for new home.

But it just didn’t go to plan…I woke up hot and feeing lethargic. Had a mini spat with mother and that bought my whole day down.

Was so annoyed hours later, that I ordered Chinese takeaway:

  • Chilli and salted chips
  • Sweet & sour chicken – Cantonese style
  • King prawn fried rice – no egg

It took me around 34 minutes to finish, leaving half of prawn and a spoonful of rice.

Washing it all down with a litre of bottled water, (to add the healthy essence to my greediness.)

It’s amazing though isn’t it? How anything in our daily lives can throw us of course…I had good intentions this morning. Now, I browse before/after images on Instagram of those that are sticking to plan or completed it.

Yet here I lay, stomach now full of delights that made me happy for 34 minutes. Or at least caused a great sense of distraction.

I think about all those people that have told me, you’ll never lose weight! And I take that away with me, wherever I go throughout life.

So here I am, being accountable for my actions: I was upset, temporarily fixing myself with a takeaway to fakeaway my feelings about my intentions.

I can stick to plan, I will overcome these challenges!

Weight

Dear All,
I’ve decided to blog about my weight journey, as it seems to be just there everyday.
I’ve noticed that things I tend to avoid, are exactly what I should be focusing on.
It’s very hard to face fears, especially when you feel them so frequently. I guess the thought behind this, is that by blogging, I become accountable. By being accountable I can’t avoid my fear…the only way, is to overcome them.
I’ll be writing about alsorts; food, clothing, activities and feelings…surrounding weight.
Kind regards,

Unique

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