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The Story of Unique Fatso

Unique Fatso

*Disclaimer, this was written a while ago.

Foundation
I can’t remember how old I was exactly. But I know I was young.
A small booklet arrived with the daily post and was placed in the fruit-bowl by one of my family members. During breakfast, I picked it up and was looking through it, my stepfather entered and pulled on the corner of it. After turning a few pages, he said, ‘you see if I were a girl, I would aspire to be a size 10.’ He then pushed it back toward me and walked away laughing.
I closed the brochure and left the kitchen, heading upstairs to cry. I was never a fat child, I was a part of the sprint team, netball, and running and even swimming. But that moment was to change my life forever.
I remember sitting in my cupboard and placing the earphones in my ears, skipping to track 10 of Rainbow by Mariah Carey and playing it over and over again. ‘…still, I cry, I cry, I cry…’ And that’s all I did, was cry. Not for the true meaning of the song but because my stepfather had just killed any confidence I had.

From then onwards, more and more comments came along and more, and more people joined in:
‘Sorry, I can’t stop staring at your ass, it’s so big.’ – Cousin
‘Look how big your thighs are, ha-ha they’re huge.’ – Aunt (Mother of a cousin)
‘Don’t you think you should join a gym, you look like Fatso from Casper.’ – Grandmother
‘You should stick to salad.’ – Grandmother.
‘Can’t you see how fat you’re getting, you look disgusting.’ – Grandmother

I began to eat more food. I stopped running, swimming, and I tried my best to avoid family gatherings. One of which was my Grandmothers birthday. It was held at a Chinese buffet restaurant. I was so ashamed of my body image that I wore; very long and extra wide black trousers, oversized black t-shirt and a long black cardigan. (Surely, weight gain was gradual but visible.) My Grandmother arrived in a short white dress that had a fluffy rabbits tale on the rear and the Playboy bunny logo on the side. To complement her dress, she wore glass slippers, that had feathers on the toe and white feathered bow around her neck. As she walked past everyone, she paused and said to me, ‘what? Are you jealous?’ I turned my head and continued to eat my broccoli and Chinese chicken curry.

Scenarios similar to that one continued, and for many years, I was forced to endure this. I often wished I could find a large amount of money and have surgery. I longed for one of these people to compliment me. I stopped going out with friends, I stopped making new friends. I found refuge in the thriller section of the school library. With a few bottles of fizzy pop (soda,) bags of sweets, packets of chocolates and often a muffin or two.
Key members of my family made me feel irrelevant. I often dreamt of a life without me being here. I often dreamt of having a stepfather that supported me like his own, a grandmother that loved me for an extended family that didn’t have an invested interest in my waistline and me.
Infrequently, I would vividly dream about my own death. How they would celebrate at my funeral with ample amounts of food and drink. Irony.

Cement
Because of the negative connotations surrounding my body, I had no confidence. Whenever people visited the house, I raced upstairs to my bedroom. During the summer, I avoided going outside…unless I had to.
Because of this mental abuse (which is precisely what it was), I grew up believing that I would never love or be loved. I grew up with a belief embedded in my mind that I was indeed ugly and unlovable.

Point
As a child growing up surrounded by key members in your life, many are telling you that you’re fat and ugly. It is tough to differentiate what is the reality and what is their deluded viewpoint. As a teenager, I struggled immensely when boys showed even the slightest bit of interest, I walked away. I became a recluse, spent endless hours upon hours just daydreaming about a new life, a new body, a new look, a whole new family – well, stepfather, cousins, aunties, uncles, and Grandmother. Not much, I guess.

Today, I no longer speak to those members of my family. The last time I saw my Grandmother was last year on her birthday. She called out to me, I looked at her and continued on my way. I can’t bring myself talk to her anymore, and now that I’m older, I simply don’t have to.
Everyone should realise that abuse isn’t just of a physical nature. Mental abuse cuts just as deep, and the blows can leave an individual unconscious for a lifetime.
Fortunately, I woke up.

Unique Fatso

Motivational Mondays: Your Curves 26.07.2021

Yes! Your curves equal beautiful!

I know sometimes you see your reflection and feel revolted about your body and how you look. I understand you think about how you got to this point, and you blend those thoughts with negative energy.

You marinade history over your past and forget to look forward – You can change your lifestyle!

Your curves are smooth and form your beautiful stature.

Slay Queen slay!

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based: Meal Prep x3

Indeed You Are

Fat Fridays! Heatwave – 23.07.2021

Fat Fridays  23.07.2021

Heatwave

This week has been challenging; first, this heat was requested by the many people who reside in the UK. Then I struggled to wear summer clothing. Finally, I opted for black leggings with a summer dress.

It is easy for people to specify what they think I should wear and drown me with their opinions. However, that will not change how I feel about my body, in particular showing my legs.

I’m insecure about various parts of my body, and while I’m trying to improve my health and fitness and build up my body confidence. I don’t need or want commentary from the masses.

Due to the oven-baked temperatures, I’ve not felt as hungry this week, and this has meant that I have not eaten as much as I would usually do during the week. Instead, I have enjoyed devouring ice-cold water, smoothies and even a bit of ice cream.

Also, for the first time in years, I purchased sunscreen! Although my legs are covered, my arms have been on show, and I made a good choice with protecting my skin from the sun’s harmful rays.

I recognise that I’m waffling now; this is due to feeling tired from the warm nights, which is my cue to get some sleep now.

Tonight feels much cooler, so I will get a better nights rest!

Live a plant-based life.

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based: Avocado and Pineapple

You Decide

Fat Fridays: Goal Setting and General To-Do! 16.07.2021

Fat Fridays – 16.07.2021

Goal setting and trying to keep up with your general to-do!

It has been a couple of weeks since I started CBT online, and I’ve found it challenging to complete tasks from my to-do list.

I recognise that I’ve not posted much lately? This is due to readjusting my priorities and slowly building back aspects of my life that I’ve temporarily paused. This has enabled me to work through things at a pace that suits me.

Before CBT, I would pressure myself to complete EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING on my to-do list. Then, even with unimportant things, I would feel awful for not finishing them. I would berate myself for failing to meet my goals and then allow those thoughts to grow and dampen my mood for days on end.

Today, I’m learning to let some things go and trust myself enough to complete them when I’m ready. I’m learning to listen to how much my body can cope with and when it may be a good idea to take off and relax my mind.

It is extremely difficult to work and research full-time, I’m not thrilled about the thought of failing, and I think anyone would agree. Therefore, finding ways to manage my goals better is helping me to live a healthier life, which means less stress all around.

Please don’t punish yourself for not completing your goals. Instead, step back, reassess, recalibrate and start over! It is okay to do that, and it is best to put yourself first!

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based Bacon Bap!

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 14.07.2021

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Tomorrow

Plant-Based Period Cravings – 12.07.2021

Black Kings

England v Italy

130 minutes equally shared to allow both teams the chance to win.

England came 2nd

Pockets of the ignorant levels of society are now racially abusing 3 black men and attacking Italian fans because their team won on penalties.

To all those that are channelling their upset through racist narratives – you should feel disgusted with yourself.

True fans support their teams through wins and losses.

True fans don’t turn to racism to express their upset.

True fans don’t tolerate racial discrimination on any level!

Report accounts that are perpetuating racial abuse online.

Block accounts that form part of the ignorant groups.

Finally, whether you are black, green, silver or any other beautiful shade – you are unique!

‘If you fall, stand tall and come back for more!’ – Tupac Shakur

PLANT-BASED Smoothie: How to Make Pineapple Prescription

📸: Unique Fatso
📸: Unique Fatso
📸: Unique Fatso
📸: Unique Fatso

Some of These Basics Aren’t Basic 😋

📸: Unique Fatso

Fat Fridays: The Days We Eat for Comfort 02.07.2021

Fat Fridays – 02.07.2021

 The days we eat for comfort.

There will be days where we can’t help ourselves; we turn to food to cuddle and melt away our pain. Life is hard, and the pressure feels unbearable, but a sweet treat seems to fold around your tongue and make you happy for a hot minute.

Recognise those seconds? It takes so long to arrive and then seconds to devour and enjoy. The regret!

Regret!

Ah! Why? Because you know what you’ve done was terrible.

Start over tomorrow, don’t be so cruel to yourself.

The thing is, my friend, nobody is perfect!

Live a healthy life

Love

Unique Fatso

Welcome July 2021

Welcome July 1st

Today is the first day of July!

A new month and a great time to begin something new, such as increasing your fitness, improving your diet or meditating an additional day per week.

Why is it essential to reflect?

It’s crucial to reflect because it allows us the chance to pause and assess how things are going and if we’ve accomplished our goals. In addition, reflection helps us to work through areas in our lives that we feel are stagnant or personal trauma that may have been holding us back.

How was the Month of June?

I had a mixed month, a few delightful moments such as my birthday and a beautiful picnic. However, I also had several challenging periods where I felt low and had to push through the bad days, like when my laptop broke down.

My Hopes for July?

Learn more mushroom-based dishes, as I love mushrooms and I enjoy creating new meals to eat. This month I hope to cycle more and learn how to pump and repair my bike tires. I’m particularly looking forward to developing other areas on my blog regarding nutrition and sharing some more plant-based ideas.

Body Positivity

This month I’m learning to love myself more. As I recognise, I can become self-deprecating, and that’s something I must work on. Therefore, my goal is to understand my body and accept that everybody is different.

I wish you all a joyful July!

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 30.06.2021

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Rainbow Peppers 🫑

📸: Unique Fatso

Fat Fridays: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – 25.06.2021

Fat Fridays – 25.06.2021

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

A few days ago, I was officially diagnosed with OCD which stands for Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. While it has become an annoying aspect of my daily life, I’m thankful that it is a mild form of OCD. I had thought about whether or not it was a good idea to share this with you all? As you can see, I decided upon yes!

OCD is a mental illness that means that a person feels compelled to complete an action – it’s a strong compulsion. For example, with myself, I have been religiously checking the doors, windows and plug sockets. Even when I know that I’ve checked them and they’re fine, I will go back and check them 2-3 more times.

I finally went to see my Doctor, and they have confirmed that I have developed a mild form of OCD. So I’m due to start CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) in a few weeks. This should help me to manage my OCD better and possibly even prevent it from being a nuisance in my life.

I’m sharing this to help normalise conversations around mental health. After all, the state of our mind is equally important as the condition of our body.

If any of you are reading this, have had similar experiences or want a friend to talk to, please drop me a message.

Remember, you are valued.

Love

Unique Fatso

Useful Link **Unique Fatso is not responsible for the condition of any external links

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/overview/

Nostalgic Snacking? Yaaaaas Fatso!

Food by Fatso: Large Penne Pasta, Garlic and Tomato Sauce with Cracked Black Pepper

📸: Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! – 23.06.2021

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Reflections: Week 7 – C25K

Reflections – C25K – Week 7

Week 7 was a bumper week. First, I had to sort out a replacement laptop to continue working on my studies. Second, I also had to work on my mental health, as I felt pretty low since my laptop broke down during a crucial time in my life, which hindered my motivation levels for week 7 of my C25K.

Nevertheless, I went out for walks, and while they were shorter than before, I also spent some time journaling and went out for dinner. That meal was the first meal that I’ve been out for in over two years – I know this sounds pretty sad, but it’s just due to the pandemic and my commitments.

Week 7 has taught me that I need to make sure I have moments where I go out to eat or visit a museum or something unrelated to home life. I can’t honestly say that I’ve put my all into this plan, as my mind has been so up & down with everything I need to complete this month. However, I can say that I’m much stronger than before, and I’m getting around a lot quicker in the duration of time that I go out to train.

If anyone out there is considering starting the Couch to 5 K challenge, I implore you to GO FOR IT! Live your best life and enjoy incorporating this brilliant workout plan that will help you to become a healthier version of yourself.

Love

Unique Fatso

Fatso’s Food: Lunch – 22.06.2021

Tea Time – 22.06.2021

Good Vibes!

Time to De-Stress with BUBBLES

Hay-fever! Please, Leave me ALONE!

Fat Fridays: The Evolution of Unique – 18.06.2021

Fat Fridays – 18.06.2021

The Evolution of Unique

From time to time, I reflect upon where I am at this moment in my life. Since I started my journey in 2019, I have evolved a lot in this space of time. It all started with my decision to stop eating animal meat.

Today, I find myself spending more time selecting fresh fruits, vegetables and pulses. As opposed to the long durations I used to spend trying to match a deal on beef burgers, pizzas and fish fingers. Those rotten Mix n Match deals roping me in to spend endless pounds on pieces of a life that once had eyes and blinked.

The evolution of Unique did not stop there, and I’m consistently reading, learning more and implementing some choices into my daily living. I’m proud of my growth on my journey and from deep within my soul. Five years ago, I would never have thought that I could live without consuming meat. Today, I devour roasted chickpeas and sing to the society I reside in about how excellent avocados are for women during menstruation. I’ll be the first to highlight that I’m no expert in this way of life. However, I can confidently convey that adopting a plant-based life is one of the most rewarding actions a person can take.

I trust the signs from my body, how my skin glows naturally and how amazing I feel more often than not – since making healthier changes.

It is imperative that we all look back to see the change, remember the reasons and step forward positively, knowing that your stride is in the direction most aligned to a healthier life.

Love

Unique Fatso

During Menstruation

Sometimes it is easy to forget that we need to take extra care of ourselves during our period.

This month I have craved salty foods and bought salty foods to feed my salty desires. However, it was wrong of me to react that way to something I’m expecting and know how to manage when it arrives.

Sometimes it is easy to forget that we need to take special care of ourselves during menstruation. For example, I bought a bag of chips with curry sauce, and the first few bites were delightful. However, my stomach began to hurt shortly after – salty foods during menstruation are self-destructive. I think because I had been going through a stressful time in my life, I turned to food and approved the purchase with the fact that ‘I’m on my period.’

Any food containing sugar or salt will exacerbate the pain you feel and lower your mood after bringing you up on a high for like 10 minutes. Please be mindful of your needs vs wants vs desire.

My needs: Something that will soothe the physical pain I’m feeling and lift my low mood. (Avocado and banana are great.)

My wants were chips, chips, a blueberry muffin and even more chips.

My desires, to have a pain free period where I’m fresh with vibrant energy and well-rested from my daily duties.

Remember, only you can make menstruation better, aim to fuel and soothe with healthy choices, as opposed to giving in to salt and sugar.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Reflections: C25K – Week 6

Reflections: C25K – Week 6

Last week was a challenging week, my laptop broke down, and I hadn’t backed up everything. I cried, cried and cried some more. But crying doesn’t solve an issue. Instead, it seeks to prolong it.

I sought help and was ignored by people who are there to help.

I turned to family and friends and found solace – I know a broken laptop is nothing to some people, but I have a degree to complete and indeed blog posts to create and share.

Week 6 involved a lot of walking, and that was good; I ran once, and for the most part, I  wanted to get through the week and have some time for myself. However, it was the most stressful week I have had this month – being transparent, and this C25K was not at the forefront of my mind. However, I got up and went out and walked.

Life can bump through and knock you off your path and out of your lane. It can place an empty plastic bottle, broken glass or a deceitful person in your way and push you into a pit of darkness. However, I had to step up and climb out of this crap and continue.

Week 6 taught me that the only one I can depend upon is myself, first and foremost. Then trusted friends and family second. A training plan is challenging to remain consistent with, especially when the perils of life break down during your day. But, getting through week six has shown me that I can do this and grow to become a better version of the woman I am today.

‘Keep ya head up, even when the roads are hard, never give up.’ – Tupac Shakur

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 16.06.2021

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Vegan Summers are Cooler

📸: Unique Fatso
📸: Unique Fatso
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