Featured

The Story of Unique Fatso

Unique Fatso

*Disclaimer, this was written a while ago.

Foundation
I can’t remember how old I was exactly. But I know I was young.
A small booklet arrived with the daily post and was placed in the fruit-bowl by one of my family members. During breakfast, I picked it up and was looking through it, my stepfather entered and pulled on the corner of it. After turning a few pages, he said, ‘you see if I were a girl, I would aspire to be a size 10.’ He then pushed it back toward me and walked away laughing.
I closed the brochure and left the kitchen, heading upstairs to cry. I was never a fat child, I was a part of the sprint team, netball, and running and even swimming. But that moment was to change my life forever.
I remember sitting in my cupboard and placing the earphones in my ears, skipping to track 10 of Rainbow by Mariah Carey and playing it over and over again. ‘…still, I cry, I cry, I cry…’ And that’s all I did, was cry. Not for the true meaning of the song but because my stepfather had just killed any confidence I had.

From then onwards, more and more comments came along and more, and more people joined in:
‘Sorry, I can’t stop staring at your ass, it’s so big.’ – Cousin
‘Look how big your thighs are, ha-ha they’re huge.’ – Aunt (Mother of a cousin)
‘Don’t you think you should join a gym, you look like Fatso from Casper.’ – Grandmother
‘You should stick to salad.’ – Grandmother.
‘Can’t you see how fat you’re getting, you look disgusting.’ – Grandmother

I began to eat more food. I stopped running, swimming, and I tried my best to avoid family gatherings. One of which was my Grandmothers birthday. It was held at a Chinese buffet restaurant. I was so ashamed of my body image that I wore; very long and extra wide black trousers, oversized black t-shirt and a long black cardigan. (Surely, weight gain was gradual but visible.) My Grandmother arrived in a short white dress that had a fluffy rabbits tale on the rear and the Playboy bunny logo on the side. To complement her dress, she wore glass slippers, that had feathers on the toe and white feathered bow around her neck. As she walked past everyone, she paused and said to me, ‘what? Are you jealous?’ I turned my head and continued to eat my broccoli and Chinese chicken curry.

Scenarios similar to that one continued, and for many years, I was forced to endure this. I often wished I could find a large amount of money and have surgery. I longed for one of these people to compliment me. I stopped going out with friends, I stopped making new friends. I found refuge in the thriller section of the school library. With a few bottles of fizzy pop (soda,) bags of sweets, packets of chocolates and often a muffin or two.
Key members of my family made me feel irrelevant. I often dreamt of a life without me being here. I often dreamt of having a stepfather that supported me like his own, a grandmother that loved me for an extended family that didn’t have an invested interest in my waistline and me.
Infrequently, I would vividly dream about my own death. How they would celebrate at my funeral with ample amounts of food and drink. Irony.

Cement
Because of the negative connotations surrounding my body, I had no confidence. Whenever people visited the house, I raced upstairs to my bedroom. During the summer, I avoided going outside…unless I had to.
Because of this mental abuse (which is precisely what it was), I grew up believing that I would never love or be loved. I grew up with a belief embedded in my mind that I was indeed ugly and unlovable.

Point
As a child growing up surrounded by key members in your life, many are telling you that you’re fat and ugly. It is tough to differentiate what is the reality and what is their deluded viewpoint. As a teenager, I struggled immensely when boys showed even the slightest bit of interest, I walked away. I became a recluse, spent endless hours upon hours just daydreaming about a new life, a new body, a new look, a whole new family – well, stepfather, cousins, aunties, uncles, and Grandmother. Not much, I guess.

Today, I no longer speak to those members of my family. The last time I saw my Grandmother was last year on her birthday. She called out to me, I looked at her and continued on my way. I can’t bring myself talk to her anymore, and now that I’m older, I simply don’t have to.
Everyone should realise that abuse isn’t just of a physical nature. Mental abuse cuts just as deep, and the blows can leave an individual unconscious for a lifetime.
Fortunately, I woke up.

Unique Fatso

You Are Beautiful

Eat What You Need

Fat Fridays: Pandemic Pounds – 24.09.2021

Fat Fridays – Pandemic Pounds – 24.09.2021

Before

I have never experienced a pandemic before.

Today

I had gained a few pounds during the thick of the pandemic (2020) it wasn’t hard to do. The UK Government set laws that advised we must stay indoors. Working hours were reduced, baking commenced and takeaway became a weekly treat.

     Only, what reason was I treating myself for? I hadn’t even managed to complete the work I had to complete for that period. Only, the fries were flowing thick and fast and the salt kept showering down on each plate. ‘We’re in lockdown!’ My reason for everything.

I’m happy to say that today, I eat more in moderation and have better portions. It helps my body to lose 1lb or 2lbs per week. I do gain about 2lbs during menstruation. Over the past few months, I’m happy to say that I’m constantly learning about food and nutrition.

     I’m not trying to say that I’m an expert or anything. However, nothing is stopping me from going out there and reading around the food I eat. Understanding, what works best for my health and discovering what I can try, to improve my life.

Forward

I’m currently looking into oils, how to blend them and what may be great to use for my hair. I’m trying to thicken it up a bit. Lack of iron and B12 has caused hair thinning and trust me, it is not easy to deal with. I’m looking forward to making my life better by understanding the great secrets of plant-based living.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 22.09.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

To Unwind – 18.09.2021

Recently I purchased the Vanilla Almond Frosting Yankee Candle from Tesco. I must say that the fragrance is delightful!

I found peace through listening to the sounds of the vacuum cleaner and the warm hum from the tumble-dryer. Then drifted into a sweet daydream, where the streets were made of sweet doughts and the rain was a light shower of chocolate sprinkles. Very similar to Homer Simpson when he skips along the streets and is filled with joy, the delectable aroma of sweet treats.

It is important to take mental breaks and find relaxation in different areas of your life.

I do find it challenging to find a moment of peace and relaxation – but who made that rule that to relax, the area must be quiet? The sounds of the vacuum blended with the dryer was the right amount of peace for me, today.

Gone are the days I’m wishing for 10 minutes of silence, so I can get into a comfortable position and meditate.

Live a healthy life

Love

Unique Fatso

Fat Fridays: Hair Down 17.09.2021

Fat Fridays – Hair Down 17.09.2021

Before

In the past, I would avoid social events as much as possible. I mean, the thought of having to find something that will fit and hide my fat, was extremely challenging, especially for a woman trying to remain invisible. I would always wonder what would it be like? To attend such moments and how I would feel during and after?

Today

I don’t say yes to every invitation I get, however, I do say yes! And I must say, it feels great. I’m learning to let my hair down and enjoy life with friends and family.

Some days are harder than the others, the main difference is that I’m trying. I won’t say it’s easy, especially when it often feels out of my comfort zone – the decision-making process is the hardest part.

I’m thankful for those that bestow positive energy across the areas of my life, where I lack confidence.

Going Forward

I hope to build upon my confidence and start to wear a range of outfits that celebrate my personality and make me feel beautiful. I’ve spent far too long living in the shadows and worrying about the opinions of others – I don’t even know these people.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 15.09.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 08.09.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Plant-Based Milk: Jörd

📸 Unique Fatso

Fat Fridays: I’ve Eaten A Lot this Week – 03.09.2021

Fat Fridays: I’ve eaten a lot this week.

Past

When going through mental constraints I would turn to food. It never made me feel better, it just allowed me to temporarily forget about the shit that was clogging up my mind.

In addition to my actions, others would apologise to me and present food with an apology.

Present

I’ve had an extremely tough week this week and I feel mentally drained. I turned to food and that food was chips! Mini-mountains of chips! They never helped me to stop thinking about anything I felt worse as I was in pain from the bloating.

The negative things continued and I just could not seem to find resolve.

Forward

I need to get back to portion control and remember that eating chips resolve, nothing.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Welcome, September 2021

Welcome, September 2021!

The month of August was a period filled with gains and losses. I struggle with the thought that I haven’t accomplished all I set out to during that month and I know, that’s an area of my life that I’m working on.

The positives are that I learned how to lose weight and was consistent for several weeks. The final week of August, I dipped – predominantly due to external factors.

September! I aim to have my time to myself and not dispense and share every spare second, with others who ‘need’ me. While I love to help others and I’m extremely supportive, I recognise that I can’t be ignoring my needs as a woman, for the sake of others.

This month with be a month of thy self!

  • Self-love
  • Self-care
  • Self-appreciation
  • Self-trust
  • Self-reliance

I’m not going to exert myself helping others when I need to take care of myself. Which is something I have always felt guilty about doing.

This month is about self-improvement, which I know will lead to better times.

Live a healthy life

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 01.09.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

 Fat Fridays – Remember that Feelings are Temporary! 27.08.2021

 Fat Fridays – Remember that Feelings are Temporary! 27.08.2021

Before

Whenever I would experience emotional turmoil, I would brood on the feelings for days, weeks and sometimes even months at a time.

I didn’t care much about finding solutions to my problems or even trying anything to ease the pain. Instead, I would eat junk food and feel shit about my life.

Today

When things go bad, I allow myself 24hours to process it and release it. I can’t carry it around with me and when you think about things and your focus is on those thoughts – they become reality! Today, I meditate and try to understand why I feel how I feel.

I also confide in trusted friends and speak to my CBT therapist about key areas in my life and how that may affect my OCD.

Forward

Keep reminding myself that all feelings are temporary and pleasure does not flourish without pain.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? Its Wednesday! 25.08.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Fat Fridays: 5.5lbs Lost

 Fat Fridays – 5.5lbs Lost

Before

While I wanted to lose weight and be a thinner woman, while still eating the same amount of crap. I had never really taken the time out to work on those goals. I mean, I used to order two burger meals from McDonald’s, making them large and then scoffing both meals to myself, pretending that it was okay to do and not care so much about the consequences – weight gain! Because I was always going to start my weight loss diet and fitness, ‘tomorrow!’ As you can tell, tomorrow took many years to arrive.

Today

I have lost 5.5lbs in the past two weeks and this has been through managing my portions and increasing my water intake. I only eat what I need and I even keep treats to a minimum. For example, I may eat only half a pack of crisps, or have two biscuits as opposed to the whole pack.

It has only been a few weeks but I’m losing a few lbs a week and I’m building up my willpower to say, ‘no!’ to more things and people.

I have also incorporated more walking during my week, I now walk for at least an hour a day for 5/7 days per week. I’m noticing my clothes feeling looser around my waist, hips, thighs and a bit from my bust.

Forward

I will continue to lose weight, now that I understand how to and I will try my best to stick to the right amount of food I need, rather than being greedy with the food I want.

Remember we each have a pathway to venture through and many experiences will come from this and lessons that we must use to become a healthier version of ourselves.

Live a plant-based life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday – 18.08.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

No Thigh Gap!

Fat Fridays: Finding Balance with your Plant-Based Diet 13.08.2021

Fat Fridays – Finding Balance with your Plant-Based Diet

Before

I never had balance in my diet. I ate what I thought I needed.

I ate what I knew I wanted and did not consider the consequences of my actions or the fact that I never knew what I was eating. I mean, I would eat chicken, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. I sometimes would have more than one helping, and I never thought about how it benefits my life, apart from filling a hunger pain.

Today

I’m more proactive with understanding how foods nourish my body and what amounts I need to eat the right foods. For instance, during menstruation, I found that mint tea and avocado smoothies work like magic for my womb.

I have also accepted that chickpeas over chicken is best for everything. Today my body is nourished by plant-based food and hydrated with water.

Forward

It’s great when someone decides to phase out animal meat from their diets or give it up completely! However, just because something is plant-based/vegan does not mean it’s great for your body. For example, I love vegan nuggets, but they’re high in salt.

I implore you all to re-evaluate your diet and know what you’re putting into your body. Don’t be embarrassed about asking and researching the food you eat, where it’s from, and how it can help you become a healthier version of yourself.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based: Mushrooms, Onions, Peppers, Wholegrain Rice, Red Lentils, Sesame Seeds and Cucumber

Weight? It’s Wednesday 11.08.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Fat Fridays: Forgiveness 06.08.2021

Fat Fridays – Forgiveness 06.08.2021

Before

Those that hurt me, I allowed them to continue, whether that be name-calling, mocking my appearance and 9/10 I agreed with them.

‘You’re so fat!’

‘You look ugly.’

‘Your ass is massive!’

‘Your face is so dark. Black and ugly.’

‘Look at your ugly duck lips.’

Sure, I would cry and brood and cry some more. It all bubbled down to my acceptance that the words they vocalised for my ears to ring were true.

I stepped back from relationships because I never felt worthy of this extraordinary man to call my partner. I stepped way back, back back, into the cold. I wanted to freeze and be forgotten.

Today

I have days where I struggle with my self-confidence and nights when I’m a Queen and embrace my throne. But, today, I recognise that everything is temporary; how long that is, I do not know?

No matter how wrong something is or how wonderful something feels, everything is temporary.

I’m working on my heart to be more open and try to forgive those who cut me up.

I’m defrosting my mind to learn how to love myself and step forward first.

I’m understanding why and not fighting the explanations.

Forward

I’m not about to tell you to forgive everyone who wronged you, and you’ll feel better as that may not work.

I implore you to face your mental traumas and try to heal day by day. Only you can make that first step, so make it positive, know that taking care of your mental health and learning forgiveness is okay.

I know I won’t forgive everyone who has shot at my life and thrown shit on my pathway. I’ve ejected them from my life permanently! I will not allow negative energy to devour my soul and reject my existence.

Live a healthy life,

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! – 04.08.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Welcome August

Welcome to August

I battled with portion control throughout July – I couldn’t quite master the right amount to eat! I’ll admit, I was greedy. Fully aware that I was eating far too much. Even the food I prepared myself was devouring too much of it. I mean, I love potatoes, and during menstruation, I was eating mountains of chips and curry sauce.

     Shortly after my period came the heatwave in England, and that was the week that changed my diet! It was too hot to cook and far too hot to order takeout and wait for it to arrive. All I wanted was to cool down, and I found solace in raspberry smoothie ice-lollies by Delmonte. (Pure and utter delight.)

During the day, I would drink around 1.5 litres of water, eat two bananas and cereal such as Weetabix or porridge. By the time the evening arrived, I would drink more ice-cold water, have a smoothie ice-lolly and maybe a cold bowl of cereal with oat milk.

That week taught me that I don’t need to be greedy and eat as much as I do. As a result, I lost 5lbs and felt less cloggy? I know that term sounds odd, but I felt like my body had the chance to detox and refresh.

With that being said, this month, my focus will be predominantly on whole foods! While I enjoy eating vegan nuggets and other vegan delights – the fact that the food is processed is not great for my nutritional profile. I’ve found many different ways to flavour chickpeas, and now I’m learning about quinoa and bulgar wheat.

August will be a month of learning and self-improvement – I’m sure you’ll experience similar.

Live a plant-based life,

Love

Unique Fatso

End of July Reflections

Dear All,

We have arrived on the last day of July 2021!

I’m an advocate for reflection and implore you to reflect on your month. Thinking about goals you set in June and if you achieved them. Please include your reasons for not meeting them and accept that no one is perfect.

My history is littered with dark moments where I have allowed a negative thought to consume my day, seeping into the next day and then abandoning my goals for the rest of the month. I would then abandon any plans I had for that month and convince myself that starting again in a few weeks is the best thing to do.

     Today, I recognise that it wasn’t the right thing to do. It hindered my health journey and encouraged me to indulge in laziness. That was the easy option for me – I admit that now.

With that being said, I have created a PDF guide to help you get started with your end of July reflections. Remember, there are no right or wrong answers to this task – know that there’s room for improvement in all of us.

Live a healthy life,

Love,

Unique Fatso

Fat Fridays: Perfection – 30.07.2021

Fat Fridays – What is Perfection? 30.07.2021

Before

I would spend hours staring at skinny women in magazines, wishing I was thin. I would pinch my body and try to guess how many inches of fat I need to shed to achieve what I would deem beautiful.’

Time wasted by indulging in images of women who represent one body type! This body type was depicted by society to equate to having good health and better prospects in life.

They made all the thin women in these images look like they were living their best lives while eating burgers – posing in the latest trends and gobbling up every bit of junk food while remaining picturesque.

Today

I understand that our bodies differ in shape, size and markings – such as beauty spots, etc. No two bodies are alike. I’ve learnt that curvy people are just as beautiful! I have curves and trust me when I say I have hated them in the past. I used to hide away from the world, like the monster Dr Frankenstein created. I would hide through fear of judgement and even more horrible comments.

Today, my confidence builds each day, and I’m even at that stage where I’m sharing images of myself and understanding what my body needs to thrive.  I appreciate what our bodies are different. I mean, who wants to look the same?

Forward

Embrace your individuality!

Life consists of many combinations of people, experiences, memories and love. So I implore anyone reading this to be proud of their body, fuel it with wholesome foods and remember perfection does not exist.

Your body is beautiful.

Live a plant-based life!

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based: Wholemeal Seeded Bread, Marmalade, Plant-Based Butter – Breakfast

Unique Fatso

From time to time, I enjoy marmalade on toast!

Embrace & Grow

Embrace and Grow

What better moment to learn to embrace your body and growth into your true self? Now is the time to begin!

Too often, we talk ourselves down and speak negative energy into the places we live. That needs to stop. Think about the time and energy your pour into filling your mind with negative thoughts and dwell in a cesspit of dark, addictive chaos.

Hey, I’m overweight! I know this and I try every day to become a better version of myself.

I’ll be the first to admit that investing time into moping around does nothing to bring you a resolution.

Quit wading and learn to embrace and grow.

Live a plant-based life!

Love

Unique Fatso

Weight? It’s Wednesday! 28.07.2021

Subscribe to get access

Read more of this content when you subscribe today.

Motivational Mondays: Your Curves 26.07.2021

Yes! Your curves equal beautiful!

I know sometimes you see your reflection and feel revolted about your body and how you look. I understand you think about how you got to this point, and you blend those thoughts with negative energy.

You marinade history over your past and forget to look forward – You can change your lifestyle!

Your curves are smooth and form your beautiful stature.

Slay Queen slay!

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based: Meal Prep x3

Indeed You Are

Fat Fridays! Heatwave – 23.07.2021

Fat Fridays  23.07.2021

Heatwave

This week has been challenging; first, this heat was requested by the many people who reside in the UK. Then I struggled to wear summer clothing. Finally, I opted for black leggings with a summer dress.

It is easy for people to specify what they think I should wear and drown me with their opinions. However, that will not change how I feel about my body, in particular showing my legs.

I’m insecure about various parts of my body, and while I’m trying to improve my health and fitness and build up my body confidence. I don’t need or want commentary from the masses.

Due to the oven-baked temperatures, I’ve not felt as hungry this week, and this has meant that I have not eaten as much as I would usually do during the week. Instead, I have enjoyed devouring ice-cold water, smoothies and even a bit of ice cream.

Also, for the first time in years, I purchased sunscreen! Although my legs are covered, my arms have been on show, and I made a good choice with protecting my skin from the sun’s harmful rays.

I recognise that I’m waffling now; this is due to feeling tired from the warm nights, which is my cue to get some sleep now.

Tonight feels much cooler, so I will get a better nights rest!

Live a plant-based life.

Love

Unique Fatso

Plant-Based: Avocado and Pineapple

%d bloggers like this: