Fat Fridays: Motivation to Run During Autumnal Days – 15.10.2021
It is now Autumn, and I feel anxious about training outside. My thoughts consume me, and I create excuses and stay inside.
Why do I do this?
Because my fear of people looking at me in disgust rises, and I can’t breathe – I get anxious and conclude that the only resolution is not to go out. It’s a silly thought process, I know, and the irony is that I frequently motivate my peers to do better and be better.
I will re-introduce a running schedule from tomorrow, aiming to complete at least two sessions per week. This will assist my weight loss in such a profound way. This time a year ago, I was one stone heavier than I am today. So what better way to keep up the momentum than to plan and smash new goals?
The problem is a reaction to a negative thought process that I often feel I can’t control. The reality is, I don’t know what will happen until I get up, get dressed and get outside. And yes, eyes my see me jogging through the city with my woes, my ass jiggling about as I go – But I’ll never know what they’re thinking.
I get it; it is all too easy to convince myself through conversing with myself that going outside for a 20-minute jog is the wrong thing to do. However, the fact is that only I will be affected by avoiding a goal. Not only will it slow down the progression, but It’ll add to the detriment of my mental health. Therefore, my mini goal is to get up, get outside and jog – even if I’m only outside for 5-minutes. The goal is to get out there.
Today I understood that it is easy to set a goal and hashtag the life out of it. Sharing with the world – #Goals
Which reinforces a message to others that you have the same goal. And there you have it, the onlookers chime in and offer you love, likes and minutes worth of attention.
For many of us, our next step never comes to fruition. This is because we’ve received the rewards upfront. However, setting goals is easy. The hard part is implementing the correct system to achieve the goals you have selected.
In other words, what are the stages/steps you need to take to succeed and meet your goals?
I’m going to lose weight!
Work out more
Yes, I agree some of us tend to note down steps we need to take to achieve these goals. But where are the systems?
Eat healthier – porridge for breakfast 7/7 days—fruit only snacks, vegetable dinners only, etc.
Work out – running for 20 mins 5/7 days.
Mediate – daily meditation.
Today I realised it’s easy to set goals!
So tell me, what are your goals? Which systems will you use to be successful? How will you reward yourself?
Above everything else, remember to live a healthy life.
September delivered many insights to me; I had never expected so much from 30 days! But I can confidently say, September was plentiful for my mind.
Did I complete all the goals I set? No. However, I’m not upset about it. After all, it is what it is, and I’m not Houdini; September won’t vanish right before my eyes.
I’ve embraced my OCD; through the embrace, it has decreased my anxiety. As a result, I’m more accepting of the unique components that make me who I am today. Gone are the days that I throw time away worrying about intangible aspects of life I can’t control.
September, I took a step back from social media, a tiny step or three. I worried a little at first, and then I wasn’t as fussed afterwards. There is so much more to life than updating my timeline. In September, I enjoyed loosening the mental thoughts that, ‘I must post something as now.’
October’s here, and I’m far more relaxed than ever; I also have a clearer perspective on the journey I’m on. I will complete all I set out to this month, there’s a mountain to climb, and I’m enjoying every second.
My focus this month will be predominantly on my education. I have a lot to do and enough time to do it. It’ll be a phenomenal moment when I’ve conquered this goal and opened up new doors that lead me through exciting pathways.
I’ll still post up from time to time, mainly on my blog – UNIQUEFATSO.com. However, my health and well-being come first, which means spending more time reading, writing, and connecting with family and friends.
I wish you all a month of productivity and positive energy.
I had gained a few pounds during the thick of the pandemic (2020) it wasn’t hard to do. The UK Government set laws that advised we must stay indoors. Working hours were reduced, baking commenced and takeaway became a weekly treat.
Only, what reason was I treating myself for? I hadn’t even managed to complete the work I had to complete for that period. Only, the fries were flowing thick and fast and the salt kept showering down on each plate. ‘We’re in lockdown!’ My reason for everything.
I’m happy to say that today, I eat more in moderation and have better portions. It helps my body to lose 1lb or 2lbs per week. I do gain about 2lbs during menstruation. Over the past few months, I’m happy to say that I’m constantly learning about food and nutrition.
I’m not trying to say that I’m an expert or anything. However, nothing is stopping me from going out there and reading around the food I eat. Understanding, what works best for my health and discovering what I can try, to improve my life.
I’m currently looking into oils, how to blend them and what may be great to use for my hair. I’m trying to thicken it up a bit. Lack of iron and B12 has caused hair thinning and trust me, it is not easy to deal with. I’m looking forward to making my life better by understanding the great secrets of plant-based living.
Recently I purchased the Vanilla Almond Frosting Yankee Candle from Tesco. I must say that the fragrance is delightful!
I found peace through listening to the sounds of the vacuum cleaner and the warm hum from the tumble-dryer. Then drifted into a sweet daydream, where the streets were made of sweet doughts and the rain was a light shower of chocolate sprinkles. Very similar to Homer Simpson when he skips along the streets and is filled with joy, the delectable aroma of sweet treats.
It is important to take mental breaks and find relaxation in different areas of your life.
I do find it challenging to find a moment of peace and relaxation – but who made that rule that to relax, the area must be quiet? The sounds of the vacuum blended with the dryer was the right amount of peace for me, today.
Gone are the days I’m wishing for 10 minutes of silence, so I can get into a comfortable position and meditate.
In the past, I would avoid social events as much as possible. I mean, the thought of having to find something that will fit and hide my fat, was extremely challenging, especially for a woman trying to remain invisible. I would always wonder what would it be like? To attend such moments and how I would feel during and after?
I don’t say yes to every invitation I get, however, I do say yes! And I must say, it feels great. I’m learning to let my hair down and enjoy life with friends and family.
Some days are harder than the others, the main difference is that I’m trying. I won’t say it’s easy, especially when it often feels out of my comfort zone – the decision-making process is the hardest part.
I’m thankful for those that bestow positive energy across the areas of my life, where I lack confidence.
I hope to build upon my confidence and start to wear a range of outfits that celebrate my personality and make me feel beautiful. I’ve spent far too long living in the shadows and worrying about the opinions of others – I don’t even know these people.
When going through mental constraints I would turn to food. It never made me feel better, it just allowed me to temporarily forget about the shit that was clogging up my mind.
In addition to my actions, others would apologise to me and present food with an apology.
I’ve had an extremely tough week this week and I feel mentally drained. I turned to food and that food was chips! Mini-mountains of chips! They never helped me to stop thinking about anything I felt worse as I was in pain from the bloating.
The negative things continued and I just could not seem to find resolve.
I need to get back to portion control and remember that eating chips resolve, nothing.
The month of August was a period filled with gains and losses. I struggle with the thought that I haven’t accomplished all I set out to during that month and I know, that’s an area of my life that I’m working on.
The positives are that I learned how to lose weight and was consistent for several weeks. The final week of August, I dipped – predominantly due to external factors.
September! I aim to have my time to myself and not dispense and share every spare second, with others who ‘need’ me. While I love to help others and I’m extremely supportive, I recognise that I can’t be ignoring my needs as a woman, for the sake of others.
This month with be a month of thy self!
I’m not going to exert myself helping others when I need to take care of myself. Which is something I have always felt guilty about doing.
This month is about self-improvement, which I know will lead to better times.
Fat Fridays – Remember that Feelings are Temporary! 27.08.2021
Whenever I would experience emotional turmoil, I would brood on the feelings for days, weeks and sometimes even months at a time.
I didn’t care much about finding solutions to my problems or even trying anything to ease the pain. Instead, I would eat junk food and feel shit about my life.
When things go bad, I allow myself 24hours to process it and release it. I can’t carry it around with me and when you think about things and your focus is on those thoughts – they become reality! Today, I meditate and try to understand why I feel how I feel.
I also confide in trusted friends and speak to my CBT therapist about key areas in my life and how that may affect my OCD.
Keep reminding myself that all feelings are temporary and pleasure does not flourish without pain.
While I wanted to lose weight and be a thinner woman, while still eating the same amount of crap. I had never really taken the time out to work on those goals. I mean, I used to order two burger meals from McDonald’s, making them large and then scoffing both meals to myself, pretending that it was okay to do and not care so much about the consequences – weight gain! Because I was always going to start my weight loss diet and fitness, ‘tomorrow!’ As you can tell, tomorrow took many years to arrive.
I have lost 5.5lbs in the past two weeks and this has been through managing my portions and increasing my water intake. I only eat what I need and I even keep treats to a minimum. For example, I may eat only half a pack of crisps, or have two biscuits as opposed to the whole pack.
It has only been a few weeks but I’m losing a few lbs a week and I’m building up my willpower to say, ‘no!’ to more things and people.
I have also incorporated more walking during my week, I now walk for at least an hour a day for 5/7 days per week. I’m noticing my clothes feeling looser around my waist, hips, thighs and a bit from my bust.
I will continue to lose weight, now that I understand how to and I will try my best to stick to the right amount of food I need, rather than being greedy with the food I want.
Remember we each have a pathway to venture through and many experiences will come from this and lessons that we must use to become a healthier version of ourselves.
Fat Fridays – Finding Balance with your Plant-Based Diet
I never had balance in my diet. I ate what I thought I needed.
I ate what I knew I wanted and did not consider the consequences of my actions or the fact that I never knew what I was eating. I mean, I would eat chicken, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. I sometimes would have more than one helping, and I never thought about how it benefits my life, apart from filling a hunger pain.
I’m more proactive with understanding how foods nourish my body and what amounts I need to eat the right foods. For instance, during menstruation, I found that mint tea and avocado smoothies work like magic for my womb.
I have also accepted that chickpeas over chicken is best for everything. Today my body is nourished by plant-based food and hydrated with water.
It’s great when someone decides to phase out animal meat from their diets or give it up completely! However, just because something is plant-based/vegan does not mean it’s great for your body. For example, I love vegan nuggets, but they’re high in salt.
I implore you all to re-evaluate your diet and know what you’re putting into your body. Don’t be embarrassed about asking and researching the food you eat, where it’s from, and how it can help you become a healthier version of yourself.
Those that hurt me, I allowed them to continue, whether that be name-calling, mocking my appearance and 9/10 I agreed with them.
‘You’re so fat!’
‘You look ugly.’
‘Your ass is massive!’
‘Your face is so dark. Black and ugly.’
‘Look at your ugly duck lips.’
Sure, I would cry and brood and cry some more. It all bubbled down to my acceptance that the words they vocalised for my ears to ring were true.
I stepped back from relationships because I never felt worthy of this extraordinary man to call my partner. I stepped way back, back back, into the cold. I wanted to freeze and be forgotten.
I have days where I struggle with my self-confidence and nights when I’m a Queen and embrace my throne. But, today, I recognise that everything is temporary; how long that is, I do not know?
No matter how wrong something is or how wonderful something feels, everything is temporary.
I’m working on my heart to be more open and try to forgive those who cut me up.
I’m defrosting my mind to learn how to love myself and step forward first.
I’m understanding why and not fighting the explanations.
I’m not about to tell you to forgive everyone who wronged you, and you’ll feel better as that may not work.
I implore you to face your mental traumas and try to heal day by day. Only you can make that first step, so make it positive, know that taking care of your mental health and learning forgiveness is okay.
I know I won’t forgive everyone who has shot at my life and thrown shit on my pathway. I’ve ejected them from my life permanently! I will not allow negative energy to devour my soul and reject my existence.