For years and I mean years, I found solace in food.
Whenever I was sad, happy, bored or relaxed I found eating food made me feel? Different each time.
Preparing the food, I salivated – I knew I was making something I ‘really’ wanted to eat.
Rather than having 2 bacon rashers, I would have 4. I would scramble 3 eggs and fry a whole tin of beans. These large portions came from not eating much the night before, ‘a justified treat.’ Well, that’s what I told myself…
I remember during menstruation, I would eat chocolate because I had read somewhere that’s what women do. There were numerous times I used to sneak back into the kitchen and have another plate of dinner. Spaghetti had been my thing.
I worshipped the food! There was nothing better.
I used to dream about the people who first created recipes I love with 100% adoration!
Food was my only friend.
If I ever have children of my own, I will teach them to eat for good health. It’s taken me years to start to understand food and what food is good for my health and wellbeing. During this time, I’ve avoided events, socials and any sort of major gathering. I knew my eating and lack of exercise was causing me to gain weight, I also knew that our society prefers to look at people in good health. So for the good of the world, I remained in the shadows; even wearing black the majority of the time.
Many factors contribute to an individual gaining weight:
- Unhealthy eating
- Lack of exercise
- Emotional abuse
- Physical abuse
- Online abuse
- Horrified looks from society
- A plethora of media (books, magazines, art, photography. Etc.) sending subliminal messages that shout, ‘you should be thin!’
- Lack of support
However, many will disagree and state that the person eating, is to accept 100% that they did this to themselves! I mean, I’m thankful I had never turned to drugs, alcohol or even suicide. Society (especially online) often bands together to bully and belittle people who differ from their ‘ideal vision.’
Being Unique Fatso – is taking ownership of the name members of my own family labelled me with, ‘Fatso!’ I no longer speak to those people that constantly dragged me down to depths of hell. If Dante’s Inferno were in 2020 form, ring 1 would be negative family members that bullied me.
Our society contributes to the health of every person living in that society.
My love for food has been a rollercoaster of information, in an age of #Fat
If the information I now know was funnelled my way back then, I would’ve embarked on my journey sooner – I’ve no regrets! However, I know that I want to be there for everyone on their weight-loss & health journeys. If only one person sees my blog and finds it helps them, then I have achieved my goal! If many people view my blog and feel it positively helps them, then I will have accomplished my goal ten-fold.
I’ve been the:
- Chubby baby
- Average child
- Fat teenager
- Flabby young adult
- Overweight woman (my current status)
I know exactly what it’s like to have a society or loved ones brand you insensitively. I share many memories of eating too much and working out too little.
My blog is to serve as a reminder that we are all on a journey, and part of giving back to society is giving good advice and sharing your story. I can only share with you what I did, what I’m doing and what I hope to do. I can’t say that my words will help you, but I know that if you too are on the same journey, a lot will resonate with you.
I hope you find the courage to start your journey of good health today and trust that you can stay focused and keep going, even when society tries to throw negative bags of nothingness at you.