Right before the end of the festive period for 2021, I fell out with a family member, which caused an awful start to 2022. As a result, I felt low and lacked the motivation to do anything.
It is astonishing how one person can cause so much pain, upset and discord in my life. This had a snowball effect on the subsequent days until today. My eating habits were about greed and nothing more than filling the void that a family member caused.
It’s now the 8th of April 2022, and today is the first time in months that I felt like I’m regaining strength and normalcy in my life. I have not spoken with that person for a few months now, and those close to both of us have advised that they feel that person is regretful about what happened between us. However, I believe I have arrived at a place where I don’t see a future with them in my life.
My life is constantly changing, and I deserve love in abundance, respect and peace from my family. Life is hard enough as it is without having to navigate a safe route through family gatherings. That reaction has altered our relationship forever, and I guess I take away the fact that no matter who the person is or how they are connected to your life, they can still have a detrimental impact on your mental health.
To this very second, it hurts that we have fallen out. However, my life is not about negative people, circles and debilitating energies. My life is unique, and nothing is promised to any of us.
I have found that time brings perspective, and I gain a little strength, which helps to bring me to a place of peace. Where I can get back to doing what I love and continuing to grow into the amazing woman I am in this life.
For those of you going through similar events, I implore you to take time out for yourself, write in your journal, and try not to become consumed by bad food choices. In the short term, they have the power to make you feel shittier than you did before the first bite. But, in the long term, they slow down the positive progress you have made to date.
My mistake was to entertain the negative thoughts that compelled me to binge on plates of bad foods and then spend my evenings ruminating over the argument and not moving forward. It is shocking how one event can take you down a hill, where you constantly bulldoze into bad choices.
It has taken me months to get to a stage where I feel like I’m back on the path to good health. I’m thankful for many things, but my most extensive support came from my sister, ‘I love you, sis!’
Today is the day I begin again.
I have scheduled weekly postings to my blog, as blogging helps in a way, and I have planned in time for me to have with no technology; I feel like social media has harmed parts of my life, it is difficult to explain, but I often feel bouts of anxiety when I’m online – hence why I’ve taken a huge step back, in terms of my online activity on IG/Twitter for example.
Now I’m going to shower and get ready for a brisk, weighted walk! I shall have around 5kg to carry, which helps to keep me grounded and to remember that my heart still beats; therefore, I must continue.
Live a healthy life.